Newest Version of Hot or Not

That little flame is almost as spicy as the app itself. Hot or not? Nah, let’s just use Tinder.

The latest match making program has grabbed the attention of many. Unlike EHarmony and Match.com it’s not deep at all. Instead of surveys and quizes to find your perfect match, it’s based off a hot or not scale.

First step: make your profile. Pick 5 of your best photos, say a few words about yourself, set your proximity and age preferences. Then your off into the magical world of Tinder.

Scrolling through hundreds of faces, you basically decide whose attractive to you. X for no thank you honey…or a heart for damn you is fine;) Well, it’s not that stupid but it’s basically like yup or hot, or no your not.

It’s pretty superficial and has the reputation of being a hookup app, but who knows maybe true love via Tinder is possible.

I was skeptical at first, apparently I made an account a while ago and forgot because when I redownloaded the app a week or so ago, I had an account. I downloaded it as a joke but it actually is pretty fun. I still thing it’s weird, scrolling through random faces judging people based on a few pictures and a small caption. It’s a weird concept. I got matched with quite a few people and have talked to some of them, it’s actually not too bad.

There are a lot of douschebags on there though, be warned, you may not find the best quality on there but who am I to say that. I’ve talked to a couple nice guys but have only given my number out too one.

Tinder is neat because even though people say it’s a hookup app, it’s not just for horny college kids. My mom is on there, a few of her friends are too and tons of people I know are so it’s an app made for a wide range of people and ages. A dating app for the masses?

Overall, I’d give the app a thumbs up!

Put the Sex Back into Sex Ed

 

Sex education is probably one of the most beneficial things that can be taught. You learn or are supposed to learn about your body, how it works, how to have safe sex, fertility, the risks that come along with sex, the emotional aspects of sex, and how to handle all of the above. Sadly that’s not the case.

It’s funny, after my parents split my mom became extremely open about sexuality. It was my step dad who wasn’t too fond of the idea. Back in middle school, I remember my parents wouldn’t sign a waiver for me to go watch a video on “sex-ed.” It was middle school so in reality it was a video about washing your hands, but I wasn’t allowed to see it. I felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn’t allowed to watch so I took matters into my own hands and started googling things about sex. So much for sheltering me mom and dad. The internet gave me an explosion of information…a little too much for someone whose 13. That could have all been avoiding if sex ed wasn’t taught until high school.

I took my first real sex ed class my freshman year of high school, it was called health and it was required. Luckily I got a cool teacher, who actually taught about sex. It wasn’t anything too vulgar or inappropriate but for someone my age I did learn something. The problem is, not everyone gets to have the same teacher I did. Most sex education programs teach you to be abstinent and that sex is something to be ashamed of.

Sex IS NOT something to be ashamed of. It’s how you were made for Pete’s sake. The curtain needs to come down that is shielding our teens from being taught what sex is. The summer before my junior year of high school, I took Psychology of  Human Sexuality at my local city college. Now that was a sex class and you know what, it didn’t turn me into some promiscuous, sex craving individual. It changed me for the better, it taught me everything and more that I needed to know about sex and now that I actually do have a sex life I’m smart about it, I know how to handle different situation and most importantly I know how to say no.

Sex should be put back into the so called sex education programs. We should teach our teens to be empowered and proud of their bodies. Sex isn’t something dirty or bad, it’s natural and teens need to be taught that. For the longest time I thought it was something I needed to be ashamed of, that I was dirty for masterbating…that’s not the case and the reason I thought that was because no one was teaching me and I took sites like yahoo seriously. Something needs to change so society can embrace sexuality.

It’s Always Right

The most important lesson I’ve learned in life so far, is to trust your gut. My mother told me for years to listen to your intuition because it’s always right. I fought her constantly, saying I knew what was best not some stupid gut feeling. Boy was I wrong.

The thing about gut feelings is they aren’t always the strongest. It’s usually your heart, mind or down south that put out the strongest feelings. They’re also the easiest to follow because those feelings are so passionate.

From personal experience I’ve learned that your heart is the hardest to ignore. When it’s telling you to do something it’s nearly impossible to do the opposite. It feels like your whole body is driving you to do something, no matter how stupid that something may be.

When it comes to the mind, that one is a bit more complicated. Your heart is usually the one telling you to do the crazy, passionate acts in life where as the mind is the logical one. It’s the one telling you to think things through. Look at all the different out comes and decide if the choice your about to make is really worth it. My mind has always been like this for me, my heart is telling me to just do it and not care but my mind thinks about the consequences. I usually end up following my heart which is probably really dumb in certain situations.

As for down south…we all know what lust feels like. It’s extremely powerful and can change how people act. It’s almost impossible to ignore because hormones rush through your whole body amplifying all your sense and making everything feel so much better. I said your heart is the most powerful but I would also argue that lust is. Sometimes lust can be a beautiful thing but it can also be extremely dangerous and when those hormones are blinding your judgement it can be a hard thing to say no too.

That is why I believe in the simplest form of all of this. Trust your gut. It takes a strong person to say no under different circumstances, especially as a teen with all the peer pressure your surrounded by daily.It’s scary, it really is. Trusting yourself is so important but it’s also so hard when people are constantly trying to get you to do and believe different things. I’ve been lucky enough to gain the ability to fully trust myself and my choices through leaving high school. Joining college early was the best thing I could have done for myself and it’s benefitted me in numerous ways. I now am able to say I truly trust myself and the decisions I make…no matter what part they come from.

Playin

I’m not 100% sure where the rules for dating come from. Who decides what’s okay and what’s not? There are social norms that your supposed to comply while making your own rules at the same time. Although, in most cases if you make rules that go against the norms your shunned and judged, when in reality your just defining the relationship based on your terms.

Are you considered a player if your “talking” to someone while sleeping with someone else? Are you a slut if you date more than one person? Is monogamy even possible in this generation?

These questions are ones that cross my mind all the time now. High school rules about love are completely different compared to the college ones. In college no one cares who you sleep with, who you date or what you do but it’s the total opposite in high school. I switched mid year, transferring from one world to another in a matter of days. My lines are blurry. I hang out with a lot of high schoolers too so when I’m following the college norms and being questioned by my high school friends, that’s when the confusion begins.

The first month of so was the hardest. I was very confused about how I should act, but when I realized that college has no rules and no one really judges you, that’s when I truly felt free. I left high school because I was tired of the petty drama and the judgement. Coming to college early was the best thing I’ve ever done. Now that I’ve just given into the college mentality of not giving a fuck about anyone’s opinions on me, my life is at ease.

There are no longer rules about relationships, love, lust or actions. It’s solely based on my opinion of what I think is okay or not. Although I still do ask for help when I need it, I’m learning everyday to make more and more decisions(the right ones) on my own. It’s tough, I still slip up all the time and sometimes wonder down the wrong path, but every mistake I’ve made has engraved a lesson in my mind. Learning from your actions is all you can do.

Define “Date”

 

What does it mean to go on a “date”? Like who made up the rules to say that this is a date and that isn’t, it doesn’t seem that logical but the boundaries are there so what are they?

As stereotypical as this is, a big part of what makes it a date or not revolves around who pays. It’s socially accepted that if the boy pays then it’s a date. I disagree. Money is money, it’s not as if the boys money is better because it’s in the pocket of the person with the penis so why does who pays define the romantic level of the encounter. It’s stupid to think it can only be a date if the boy pays…what if your girlfriend wants to take you out! It’s still a date.

There’s also the “where are you going” aspect. I’ve met people who think going to the movies to make-out the whole time is a date…I’ve been on those kinds of dates, they aren’t fun…that is NOT a date. If I wanted to just tongue tango with you, we should have just gone to a park or someones house. There is really no need to pay $20 bucks if a kiss is all you want. I’ve always wondered if it makes the guy feel like less of an asshole if he pays for something for you prior to kissing you instead of just going for it. Just food for thought 😉

When it comes to a date, there shouldn’t be any rules or regulations. It should be about two people getting to know one another and seeing if there’s a spark. Chemistry isn’t built through the movies or dinners, it isn’t built at all. If there is chemistry it will be there naturally and both parties will feel it. There is no need to make a fuss about who asks for the check, if through that little outing you found something worth asking for date two, the goal has been met.