Coping Through Beauty

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The easiest way to feel rejuvenated and fresh is to do something to the one part of your body that will always come back. That being, your hair. It’s the fastest way to cope with a situation. When everything feels like it’s falling apart, you can run to the store, grab a bottle of hair dye and completely change yourself within minutes.

My mother always told me that she knew when things went wrong between boy’s and I because I always asked to dye or cut my hair right after. It’s the concept of seeking change. The idea that altering your physical appearance will change the person underneath and in turn change your world around you.

It doesn’t just have to be fights with boys that make you crave change. I got into a fight with my best friend and hours later I was in the bathroom gloved up and holding a tube of pink hair dye. Accompanied by a pink streak, I set foot into the world with a fresh outlook. No longer letting the petty drama affect me. It’s funny how something so minor can spark such a fiery feeling in oneself.

Whenever someone questions me about my hair, makeup or possible tattoos/piercings I don’t feel it necessary to answer. Why should my physical appearance be any of your business? ┬áMy motives for creating how I look on the outside shouldn’t matter and it shouldn’t be a controversy. So next time your world feels like it’s falling apart, turn to something less harmful like dying your hair or chopping it all off because in the end, the chaos will pass and your hair will grow back.

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Playin

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I’m not 100% sure where the rules for dating come from. Who decides what’s okay and what’s not? There are social norms that your supposed to comply while making your own rules at the same time. Although, in most cases if you make rules that go against the norms your shunned and judged, when in reality your just defining the relationship based on your terms.

Are you considered a player if your “talking” to someone while sleeping with someone else? Are you a slut if you date more than one person? Is monogamy even possible in this generation?

These questions are ones that cross my mind all the time now. High school rules about love are completely different compared to the college ones. In college no one cares who you sleep with, who you date or what you do but it’s the total opposite in high school. I switched mid year, transferring from one world to another in a matter of days. My lines are blurry. I hang out with a lot of high schoolers too so when I’m following the college norms and being questioned by my high school friends, that’s when the confusion begins.

The first month of so was the hardest. I was very confused about how I should act, but when I realized that college has no rules and no one really judges you, that’s when I truly felt free. I left high school because I was tired of the petty drama and the judgement. Coming to college early was the best thing I’ve ever done. Now that I’ve just given into the college mentality of not giving a fuck about anyone’s opinions on me, my life is at ease.

There are no longer rules about relationships, love, lust or actions. It’s solely based on my opinion of what I think is okay or not. Although I still do ask for help when I need it, I’m learning everyday to make more and more decisions(the right ones) on my own. It’s tough, I still slip up all the time and sometimes wonder down the wrong path, but every mistake I’ve made has engraved a lesson in my mind. Learning from your actions is all you can do.

Spreading the Love

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Today I assisted some friends in a little film project they had to do. The theme…adventure.

Now that’s a pretty broad theme, we could have chosen anything to film but we decided to do this. We headed to staples, got a couple posters and a pink marker, then headed home. We made a couple signs that said “Free Hugs and Kisses, You Choose.” We got the idea from a Tumblr post we saw where this guy stood on the corner holding a sign saying Free Kisses.

Honestly, the experience was pretty fucking cool. We wondered around filming the adventure. First we got mauled by a group of 50 or so little kids on a field trip who wanted free hugs. Then I got a smooch from one of the guys in this group of what I think were lifeguards because they were all wearing red. Continuing on we both got a bunch of hugs. Then I got another kiss from this skater boy standing, talking on his phone. He went in for the smooch and then dipped me, it was pretty cute not going to lie.

We continued strolling around, getting all kinds of hugs and kisses on the cheek. One woman went up to my friend David and hugged him super tight, saying it was just one of those days where she needed a hug. It melted all of our hearts. By the end of the day, it didn’t become about getting the best shots or anything, it became about putting a smile on peoples facing and giving them a pick me up.

We did get some really cool shots though and the video, once edited should turn out awesome! It was one for the books. One crazy adventure.

Relish the Release

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Last night was more than just your average Monday evening. Laying in bed, texting friends and Tumblring away (per usual) I decided I was tired of the monotonous bullshit that surrounds a particular friendship I have…or had.

My best friend and I have known each other since 8th grade; we are both currently juniors in high school. She’s in traditional high school where as I am in Middle College so I go to school at SBCC. During the first two years of our friendship we had a boatload of drama surrounding other friendships and boys. This lead to us not being friends for a year or so. Finally when we were both accepted into the MAD Academy at our high school we became friends again due to the mutual feeling of hatred about everyone else in the academy. Our friendship few and now we’re best friends…well were. I’m not sure where we stand at this point.

I don’t know about her but I got tired of the stupid, repetitive cycles that play out between our friend group almost daily, in particular between her and her boyfriend. Every since they started dating it just feels like I no longer have a sincere friendship with her boyfriend, who was one of my best friends prior to them dating.

A large factor of why this friendship began going down hill in my opinion is maturity and circumstance. Once I left high school, we were no longer required to see each other everyday which definitely takes a toll on ones friendship. There is also a distinct difference between the maturity level of college kids and high schoolers. Even though technically I’m the same age as those in high school, due to constantly being surrounded by college people at work and school, I’ve grown up immensely. It’s not that I feel like I’m better then my high school friends, I just feel like we are on two different levels and in two different places in our lives. None of my friends have jobs or the same amount of freedom I do so all these circumstances take part in how our friendships progress…or don’t.

Last night when the fight between my best friend and I broke out, I started to question if I should just back down and let the friendship remain the way it was. That was the little angel on my shoulder speaking, but the devil spoke up and told me to stand my ground because there is no reason to stay in a situation that makes you upset. Clearly my little devil shoulder was correct. I stood my ground and said exactly what I thought and felt about the the situation. She wasn’t too happy about it. Particularly because she isn’t the talking type, when you say something she doesn’t like she won’t talk about it, she will just shut you out. I noticed her trying to talk about what was being thrown out there but it clearly wasn’t working because it ended with her saying, “So how about you fuck off.” I responded with, “Sounds fantastic.”

So basically that is where our friendship stands. At “fuck off.” I’ve given it a lot of thought this morning and last night. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve become so accustomed to pain or because I’m finally wearing my big girl pants, but I’m not sad about the situation. Yes, it does hurt that I just lost my best friend but at the same time I feel freed. I feel like I am able to start fresh after spring break and grow up. I’ll be able to make new friends who may in actuality be older, but are at my same level. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and this situation is no different. The meaning will come around at some point but for now, I am able to be calm and stress free knowing the petty BS in my life is done.

Duly Noted

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We all deal with those passive aggressive folks who are a part of our daily life. I think it’s one of the things that makes human beings so strong; I mean dealing with those kinds of idiots all day makes for a thick skin. Being passive aggressive is probably one of the most irritating qualities a person can have. Seriously, if your going to be aggressive just be straight forward so the rest of us don’t have to deal with the underlying bullshit that is an automatic response to passive aggressive remarks.

I would say I’m lucky in a sense because I don’t have to deal with too many passive aggressive people. My dad is definitely like this but since I made the choice not to have him in my life that’s not an issue. On the other hand, my best friend is totally like this. I don’t know what she has to be mad at me about since I’ve never done anything to her but she always manages to throw out snide remarks about my past (family life, past boys, mistakes I’ve made etc.). It’s really fucking annoying because I don’t see why someone who wears the title of Best Friend would do that and it’s clear she doesn’t recognize it because I’ve confronted her about it and she “has no idea what I’m talking about.”

The issue is shedding light on the important issue of friendships and what makes them last. Ours has had a very rocky past but we got through it and are now very close I think, but now that she’s all wrapped up with her boyfriend, I just feel I’m in the need of another friend. One who can actually do things with me that doesn’t constantly need her boyfriend there by her side. Don’t get me wrong, I totally support couples and sticking with your partner, but using them as a crutch is different.

Body Mod

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Body modification is one of those things that has lots of controversy surrounding it. Some people think tattoos and piercings are gross and inappropriate where as others are all for them. Then there are those who think some are okay and some aren’t.

Ears are on of the most common and socially acceptable piercings. People give their babies ear piercings for pete’s sake! Pretty much everyone I know has their ears pierced or has had them done in the past. It’s considered normal. But what’s the difference between an earring and a belly or nose ring? It’s the same concept just in a different place.

I’ve had my nose, belly button, ears and most recently my cartilage pierced. I also have a tattoo. Word of advice…if you ask about how bad a cartilage piercing hurts and someone tells you it doesn’t, they are lying. It was the most painful one I’ve ever had done, hurt worse than my belly button.

So when it comes to body piercings I don’t see anything wrong with them and there’s a lot of people out there who would agree with me. Then there are those who completely disagree with me. For example, my work is totally against body modifying. I almost got fired for having my cartilage pierced. What kind of bullshit is that?? Now, granted piercings and skin color are two totally different things, but I believe it’s a form of discrimination. If your going to not allow or possibly fire me based on my physical appearance in regards to the jewelry I choose to wear, that’s just unfair.

People will disagree with my opinions on body modification but that doesn’t phase me. The whole point of modifying your body is to make yourself happy. It’s all about your personal opinion, no one else’s.

Obsessions

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There are some things in life that you start and just can’t stop doing. For some that can be smoking, drinking, working out, dating, having sex, cheating, lying, stealing…for me it’s Tumblr.

I just can’t seem to stop reblogging stuff, it’s the most addicting website I’ve ever been on. I got one years ago, couldn’t really figure it out so I just ignored it, but about 5 months ago my friend reintroduced me and it was a match made in heaven. I have the app, it’s on my favorites bar and I visit the site probably 10-15 times a day. I know that sounds ridiculous but it’s not as bad as it seems.

Tumblr has a lot to offer. It can be there for you when your sad but it can also make you sad at the same time. It can inspire you, give you new and creative ideas and entertain you when your under a boredom spell. Which is needed if your like me and you eat when your bored. Tumblring is much better than eating when your not actually hungry.

I know a lot of people hate on Tumblr, saying it’s just pictures of sex and drugs, which isn’t true. Yes, there are tons of pictures and blogs dedicated to sex and drugs but there is so much more. There’s tons of quotes, people post their thoughts and ideas, there’s protests, creative ideas to decorate rooms or spaces, photo shoot ideas, cute outfit ideas, bikinis, food, recipes and basically anything else you can think of on there. It’s a great place to go to get inspired. I’m a full supporter of all things Tumblr! It’s a place to express yourself freely and without judgement which is something this world needs more of.

If you have a Tumblr go check mine out here!

http://just-say-yes-to-me.tumblr.com/