Playin

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I’m not 100% sure where the rules for dating come from. Who decides what’s okay and what’s not? There are social norms that your supposed to comply while making your own rules at the same time. Although, in most cases if you make rules that go against the norms your shunned and judged, when in reality your just defining the relationship based on your terms.

Are you considered a player if your “talking” to someone while sleeping with someone else? Are you a slut if you date more than one person? Is monogamy even possible in this generation?

These questions are ones that cross my mind all the time now. High school rules about love are completely different compared to the college ones. In college no one cares who you sleep with, who you date or what you do but it’s the total opposite in high school. I switched mid year, transferring from one world to another in a matter of days. My lines are blurry. I hang out with a lot of high schoolers too so when I’m following the college norms and being questioned by my high school friends, that’s when the confusion begins.

The first month of so was the hardest. I was very confused about how I should act, but when I realized that college has no rules and no one really judges you, that’s when I truly felt free. I left high school because I was tired of the petty drama and the judgement. Coming to college early was the best thing I’ve ever done. Now that I’ve just given into the college mentality of not giving a fuck about anyone’s opinions on me, my life is at ease.

There are no longer rules about relationships, love, lust or actions. It’s solely based on my opinion of what I think is okay or not. Although I still do ask for help when I need it, I’m learning everyday to make more and more decisions(the right ones) on my own. It’s tough, I still slip up all the time and sometimes wonder down the wrong path, but every mistake I’ve made has engraved a lesson in my mind. Learning from your actions is all you can do.

The New Side

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There comes a day in everyones life when everything changes, for many graduating high school and heading to college is that time. In my case, I opted to jump into college halfway through my junior year.

I’m confident that I can do well in college but it’s a whole new world. A college desk is no different than a high school desk and you still feel like the “new kid” walking around, it’s a strange place to be at 17. Walking around campus yesterday I started to become nostalgic, missing high school, my friends and that feeling of belonging. What’s ironic is that I hated high school and wanted out so badly but suddenly when I got my chance and it all began, I started to wonder if I made the right choice.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so stressed in my life. Trying to crash 3 different English classes and not being able to get into any, struggling to figure out a schedule that will work and having to do all my homework and work on top of that…it’s a lot. I’ve always wanted to be an “adult” and be treated like one…it’s finally starting to happen and it’s not as fun as one would think. I’m trying to take a step back from it all and relax, allow myself to realize it’s all out of my control but it’s so hard to let go of the reigns when it feels like your future is on the line.