I’m not 100% sure where the rules for dating come from. Who decides what’s okay and what’s not? There are social norms that your supposed to comply while making your own rules at the same time. Although, in most cases if you make rules that go against the norms your shunned and judged, when in reality your just defining the relationship based on your terms.
Are you considered a player if your “talking” to someone while sleeping with someone else? Are you a slut if you date more than one person? Is monogamy even possible in this generation?
These questions are ones that cross my mind all the time now. High school rules about love are completely different compared to the college ones. In college no one cares who you sleep with, who you date or what you do but it’s the total opposite in high school. I switched mid year, transferring from one world to another in a matter of days. My lines are blurry. I hang out with a lot of high schoolers too so when I’m following the college norms and being questioned by my high school friends, that’s when the confusion begins.
The first month of so was the hardest. I was very confused about how I should act, but when I realized that college has no rules and no one really judges you, that’s when I truly felt free. I left high school because I was tired of the petty drama and the judgement. Coming to college early was the best thing I’ve ever done. Now that I’ve just given into the college mentality of not giving a fuck about anyone’s opinions on me, my life is at ease.
There are no longer rules about relationships, love, lust or actions. It’s solely based on my opinion of what I think is okay or not. Although I still do ask for help when I need it, I’m learning everyday to make more and more decisions(the right ones) on my own. It’s tough, I still slip up all the time and sometimes wonder down the wrong path, but every mistake I’ve made has engraved a lesson in my mind. Learning from your actions is all you can do.
We all deal with those passive aggressive folks who are a part of our daily life. I think it’s one of the things that makes human beings so strong; I mean dealing with those kinds of idiots all day makes for a thick skin. Being passive aggressive is probably one of the most irritating qualities a person can have. Seriously, if your going to be aggressive just be straight forward so the rest of us don’t have to deal with the underlying bullshit that is an automatic response to passive aggressive remarks.
I would say I’m lucky in a sense because I don’t have to deal with too many passive aggressive people. My dad is definitely like this but since I made the choice not to have him in my life that’s not an issue. On the other hand, my best friend is totally like this. I don’t know what she has to be mad at me about since I’ve never done anything to her but she always manages to throw out snide remarks about my past (family life, past boys, mistakes I’ve made etc.). It’s really fucking annoying because I don’t see why someone who wears the title of Best Friend would do that and it’s clear she doesn’t recognize it because I’ve confronted her about it and she “has no idea what I’m talking about.”
The issue is shedding light on the important issue of friendships and what makes them last. Ours has had a very rocky past but we got through it and are now very close I think, but now that she’s all wrapped up with her boyfriend, I just feel I’m in the need of another friend. One who can actually do things with me that doesn’t constantly need her boyfriend there by her side. Don’t get me wrong, I totally support couples and sticking with your partner, but using them as a crutch is different.
What does it mean to go on a “date”? Like who made up the rules to say that this is a date and that isn’t, it doesn’t seem that logical but the boundaries are there so what are they?
As stereotypical as this is, a big part of what makes it a date or not revolves around who pays. It’s socially accepted that if the boy pays then it’s a date. I disagree. Money is money, it’s not as if the boys money is better because it’s in the pocket of the person with the penis so why does who pays define the romantic level of the encounter. It’s stupid to think it can only be a date if the boy pays…what if your girlfriend wants to take you out! It’s still a date.
There’s also the “where are you going” aspect. I’ve met people who think going to the movies to make-out the whole time is a date…I’ve been on those kinds of dates, they aren’t fun…that is NOT a date. If I wanted to just tongue tango with you, we should have just gone to a park or someones house. There is really no need to pay $20 bucks if a kiss is all you want. I’ve always wondered if it makes the guy feel like less of an asshole if he pays for something for you prior to kissing you instead of just going for it. Just food for thought 😉
When it comes to a date, there shouldn’t be any rules or regulations. It should be about two people getting to know one another and seeing if there’s a spark. Chemistry isn’t built through the movies or dinners, it isn’t built at all. If there is chemistry it will be there naturally and both parties will feel it. There is no need to make a fuss about who asks for the check, if through that little outing you found something worth asking for date two, the goal has been met.