Birthday Suit

We come into this world butt naked. Carefree and with no shame we let doctors and family members move us from place to place throughout the birthing room but the moment the your about to be move into a “public” place, your clothed. Babies don’t know the difference between being clothed and naked. Adults don’t seem to care about babies being nude but seeing a teenager or old man nude isn’t okay to some. It just doesn’t make sense, we all are born naked, why does it become a taboo as we age?

It seems as if throughout our lives we are slowly brainwashed into thinking being naked is something shameful or embarrassing. I have witnessed parents scolding their toddlers for running out of their rooms with nothing on. Why? It’s just a body, we all have them. The only difference between a toddler body and an adult body is the amount of hormones. Yes, human beings hit puberty. We grow hair in places we didn’t before, the hair is darker and thicker, people get acne, skin darkens, body shapes change, people get boobs, your balls drop…it’s all a natural part of life that EVERYONE goes through.

This day an age, I feel, has falsely filled peoples minds with the idea that nudity it unacceptable and something to be ashamed of. I believe this because the media doesn’t show all types of bodies and industries, the porn industry in particular, don’t show the wide variety of anatomical aesthetics. I took a class on the psychology of human sexuality and this was one of the topics we covered. I know that men also have these feelings but I am focusing on women specifically.

As a teenage girl, I feel we get the brunt of these issues. We grow up looking at pictures of skinny girls with perfect facial features and beautiful curvature. That becomes the social norm and we grow up believing that is how our bodies are supposed to look. Then as you age a little more and start exploring your sexuality, most people experiment with porn. It’s a shame girls won’t admit to watching it because almost everyone has, but girls have been shamed into thinking that watching porn is dirty and inappropriate for them to do. The thing about being a girl and watching porn, is that it is dangerous. It can cause a lot of issues regarding your body image and self esteem. Porn companies show one vagina. Think about it, almost everyone porn video you’ve watched in your lifetime probably has a girl with the classic porn vagina, no labia, small, hairless and tight. That isn’t how real life is. It personally look me a long time to be comfortable naked because of magazines showing the “perfect” female body and the way porn industries portrayed female anatomy.

I am still young and I’m grateful I learned this lesson this quick, but I’m sure there are other girls out there wondering the same things I did. Is my body normal? Is something wrong with me? What’s wrong with my vagina? I’m actually 100 percent sure there are others out there thinking this because I’ve googled these questions enough times to know others are seeking the answer too. If there is one thing I could tell all girls out there, who look in the mirror questioning their normality, it’s that there is no such thing as normal. Every body is different, we all have unique chemical makeups that made us who we are today. Normal doesn’t exist, so don’t question whether or not your body is okay because it is. There is nothing wrong with anyones body, they are all just different and different is okay.

It’s Always Right

The most important lesson I’ve learned in life so far, is to trust your gut. My mother told me for years to listen to your intuition because it’s always right. I fought her constantly, saying I knew what was best not some stupid gut feeling. Boy was I wrong.

The thing about gut feelings is they aren’t always the strongest. It’s usually your heart, mind or down south that put out the strongest feelings. They’re also the easiest to follow because those feelings are so passionate.

From personal experience I’ve learned that your heart is the hardest to ignore. When it’s telling you to do something it’s nearly impossible to do the opposite. It feels like your whole body is driving you to do something, no matter how stupid that something may be.

When it comes to the mind, that one is a bit more complicated. Your heart is usually the one telling you to do the crazy, passionate acts in life where as the mind is the logical one. It’s the one telling you to think things through. Look at all the different out comes and decide if the choice your about to make is really worth it. My mind has always been like this for me, my heart is telling me to just do it and not care but my mind thinks about the consequences. I usually end up following my heart which is probably really dumb in certain situations.

As for down south…we all know what lust feels like. It’s extremely powerful and can change how people act. It’s almost impossible to ignore because hormones rush through your whole body amplifying all your sense and making everything feel so much better. I said your heart is the most powerful but I would also argue that lust is. Sometimes lust can be a beautiful thing but it can also be extremely dangerous and when those hormones are blinding your judgement it can be a hard thing to say no too.

That is why I believe in the simplest form of all of this. Trust your gut. It takes a strong person to say no under different circumstances, especially as a teen with all the peer pressure your surrounded by daily.It’s scary, it really is. Trusting yourself is so important but it’s also so hard when people are constantly trying to get you to do and believe different things. I’ve been lucky enough to gain the ability to fully trust myself and my choices through leaving high school. Joining college early was the best thing I could have done for myself and it’s benefitted me in numerous ways. I now am able to say I truly trust myself and the decisions I make…no matter what part they come from.

Relish the Release

Last night was more than just your average Monday evening. Laying in bed, texting friends and Tumblring away (per usual) I decided I was tired of the monotonous bullshit that surrounds a particular friendship I have…or had.

My best friend and I have known each other since 8th grade; we are both currently juniors in high school. She’s in traditional high school where as I am in Middle College so I go to school at SBCC. During the first two years of our friendship we had a boatload of drama surrounding other friendships and boys. This lead to us not being friends for a year or so. Finally when we were both accepted into the MAD Academy at our high school we became friends again due to the mutual feeling of hatred about everyone else in the academy. Our friendship few and now we’re best friends…well were. I’m not sure where we stand at this point.

I don’t know about her but I got tired of the stupid, repetitive cycles that play out between our friend group almost daily, in particular between her and her boyfriend. Every since they started dating it just feels like I no longer have a sincere friendship with her boyfriend, who was one of my best friends prior to them dating.

A large factor of why this friendship began going down hill in my opinion is maturity and circumstance. Once I left high school, we were no longer required to see each other everyday which definitely takes a toll on ones friendship. There is also a distinct difference between the maturity level of college kids and high schoolers. Even though technically I’m the same age as those in high school, due to constantly being surrounded by college people at work and school, I’ve grown up immensely. It’s not that I feel like I’m better then my high school friends, I just feel like we are on two different levels and in two different places in our lives. None of my friends have jobs or the same amount of freedom I do so all these circumstances take part in how our friendships progress…or don’t.

Last night when the fight between my best friend and I broke out, I started to question if I should just back down and let the friendship remain the way it was. That was the little angel on my shoulder speaking, but the devil spoke up and told me to stand my ground because there is no reason to stay in a situation that makes you upset. Clearly my little devil shoulder was correct. I stood my ground and said exactly what I thought and felt about the the situation. She wasn’t too happy about it. Particularly because she isn’t the talking type, when you say something she doesn’t like she won’t talk about it, she will just shut you out. I noticed her trying to talk about what was being thrown out there but it clearly wasn’t working because it ended with her saying, “So how about you fuck off.” I responded with, “Sounds fantastic.”

So basically that is where our friendship stands. At “fuck off.” I’ve given it a lot of thought this morning and last night. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve become so accustomed to pain or because I’m finally wearing my big girl pants, but I’m not sad about the situation. Yes, it does hurt that I just lost my best friend but at the same time I feel freed. I feel like I am able to start fresh after spring break and grow up. I’ll be able to make new friends who may in actuality be older, but are at my same level. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and this situation is no different. The meaning will come around at some point but for now, I am able to be calm and stress free knowing the petty BS in my life is done.