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I’m not 100% sure where the rules for dating come from. Who decides what’s okay and what’s not? There are social norms that your supposed to comply while making your own rules at the same time. Although, in most cases if you make rules that go against the norms your shunned and judged, when in reality your just defining the relationship based on your terms.

Are you considered a player if your “talking” to someone while sleeping with someone else? Are you a slut if you date more than one person? Is monogamy even possible in this generation?

These questions are ones that cross my mind all the time now. High school rules about love are completely different compared to the college ones. In college no one cares who you sleep with, who you date or what you do but it’s the total opposite in high school. I switched mid year, transferring from one world to another in a matter of days. My lines are blurry. I hang out with a lot of high schoolers too so when I’m following the college norms and being questioned by my high school friends, that’s when the confusion begins.

The first month of so was the hardest. I was very confused about how I should act, but when I realized that college has no rules and no one really judges you, that’s when I truly felt free. I left high school because I was tired of the petty drama and the judgement. Coming to college early was the best thing I’ve ever done. Now that I’ve just given into the college mentality of not giving a fuck about anyone’s opinions on me, my life is at ease.

There are no longer rules about relationships, love, lust or actions. It’s solely based on my opinion of what I think is okay or not. Although I still do ask for help when I need it, I’m learning everyday to make more and more decisions(the right ones) on my own. It’s tough, I still slip up all the time and sometimes wonder down the wrong path, but every mistake I’ve made has engraved a lesson in my mind. Learning from your actions is all you can do.

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Drunk in Distance

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Long distance man…it’s one of those things where all the normal dating rules are suddenly thrown into a blender and it’s up to you to add new ingredients to keep it tasty.

I’ve never been able to wrap my brain around the concept of long distance relationships. How are you able to stay so in love when you can’t even hug each other on a daily basis? I guess that’s true love if there is such a thing. Many believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder, maybe it’s true in love.

The first time I ever tried anything remotely close to long distance was my freshman year of high school. Lets be blunt, it was NOT long distance, my boyfriend just sucked. He graduated high school and was starting college at SBCC (keep in mind, it’s literally 10 minutes away from the local high school) and he dumped me because “we were never going to see each other now that he’s a college kid.” Of course I was heartbroken but hey, looking back on it now I realize he was a freshman in college and I was a sophomore in high school…big difference and it just made the most sense for us to breakup.

History repeats itself. Once again I began dating a senior. He graduated, we dated all summer blah blah blah, you know the deal and then August rolled around. He was getting ready to move out to the dorms at Cal Poly. I was totally supportive and firmly believed we could do “long distance” (it’s 2 hours away from where I live so it’s not really long distance either). About a month in I was so done. He was lying to me and things just weren’t working out. We hardly visited each other and it wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted to continue. I ended things and that’s when shit hit the fan, but I’ll save that for another post. It deserves it’s own.

So what makes long distance worth while? I guess that’s up to the individual to decide. If you really do love someone, I think it could work as long as there is extremely open communication and honesty between the two. It’s not something that’s right for everyone though. If your the type, like me, who needs affection in more physical ways like hugging and kissing, it could be quite difficult to maintain something long distance.

It’s funny though, sometimes someone comes around who can change your entire opinion on things such as long distance. I met Alex (the kid I’ve been writing about in my more recent posts) who lives in Ohio and I fell for him in about 2 days. Suddenly I’m all for a long distance relationship. Why? I ask myself that daily. I think it’s simply because something felt right. It’s a gamble but maybe that’s just how it feels to be drunk in love.