Hypocritical is the New Black

It’s almost comical how you can say and do one thing and turn around and do the complete opposite. It’s like, oh hey, let’s tell so and so not to do this thing but then lets go and do that exact thing in a couple days. It’s just not fair. I don’t get people who are hypocritical and I don’t get why it’s become such a trend.

Now, I don’t want to get ahead of myself and say I’m the Almighty Athena who has never done anything hypocritical in her life. In fact, I do it quite often. It’s not something I necessarily want to do or intend to do, but it just proves my point that we all do it. It only makes sense though, that we are as humans hypocritical because it’s always easier to give advice to someone else but it’s not always easy to take that advice.

I’ve dealt with my fair share of hypocrites and I’ve been called one plenty of times, but I feel it’s harder to control when your young. Where as when your older it should be something your able to recognize and terminate when the behavior shows it’s ugly head.

That is why I don’t take it lightly when people in my family are hypocritical of me. The most prominent example I have of that is all the times my dad has called me out for being immature. Just because I stopped putting in effort to have a relationship with him after he basically stepped out of my life that makes me immature in his eyes? How does that make sense? He is the adult and he is also my father, it’s his job to take initiative in rekindling our relationship, not mine. I say that because I’ve tried, I’ve put in a serious effort to try to get things back to how they were when I was younger but he shuts me down every time.

A lot of the shutting down also ones from me. He’s asked me to come over for dinner or to hangout and I just don’t want too. I’m not supportive of his marriage and I don’t want to put myself in that situation where I have to converse with his fiancé and her daughter. It’s not something I am willing to do, even for the sake of our relationship. I want a father daughter relationship…not a father daughter plus his little family in tow relationship.

In my eyes it’s hypocritical of him to blame me for not wanting a relationship or putting in effort to have one, when he does the exact same thing!

I feel somewhat hypocritical writing this. What am I doing complaining about all this stuff? Maybe somewhere out there on the internet my dad has a blog and is writing about how frustrated he is with his life, but I guess we’ll never know. All I’m trying to say, simply put, is it sucks to in a world with so many people saying one thing and doing the opposite.

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Omission

Lies are lies, plain and simple. A common misconception is that lying by omission doesn’t count… that’s just incorrect. Clearly if it’s something you aren’t willing to say out loud and just because you don’t say it doesn’t make it okay. I’m not going to say I’ve never lied before because that would be a gigantic lie in and of itself but I’ve learned my lesson…when you lie, it ALWAYS comes and bites you in the ass later. So I try to avoid lying at all costs, it’s proven to be a good choice because I haven’t been in trouble lately and my relationships with the people that matter are stronger than ever.

I think in my life there have been a few lies that have stuck out more than others. When I think lying by omission, my mind goes straight to the moment my brother spoke the words, “Oh yeah dad is engaged.”

Apparently, without letting anyone know, my dad proposed to his girlfriend of 6 months. Let me just mention that he and my mother were together for 13 years and he never popped the question. That thought disgusts me, but more than that, the idea that he wouldn’t even have the courage to tell me to my face that he did it. I just don’t understand, how can someone do that to another person? Your going to try to get me to like your girlfriend but you won’t even tell me that your planning to wife her up, it’s just uncanny.

What frustrated me was the fact that I found out a couple weeks prior to my 17th birthday. I hadn’t talked to my dad in weeks but he asked to take me to dinner for my birthday, I said yes but only if my brother and a couple friends could come. He agreed. He took us all out to my favorite sushi restaurant and the entire time I knew that he was engaged, yet through that entire night he neglected to mention it. That is something I will never comprehend. It was also the moment I knew he had lost the little amount of respect I had left for him after cheating on my mom.

It’s funny, everyone I’ve talked to now that my parent’s are split up tell me the same thing. They all thought my dad was a lair and untrustworthy…even a little slimy, but no one was willing to speak up. When in fact, their words may have saved my family so much trouble. Through this, through all the pain, I took an important lesson away. That being, no matter how hard it may be to tell someone the truth, it’s better to do so than speak lies and in turn destroy what could have never been broken.