Joost Do It

joost do it

 

I’ve recently made the decision to become a straight edge. In other words, be sober, but I feel that saying I’m sober now has a negative connotation relating to being an addict which I wasn’t in any way. I’m just making the choice to lead a healthier life style. It includes eating clean, working out at least once a day, not putting toxins into my body (alcohol and drugs), getting plenty of sleep, focussing on work and school and overall maintaining a positive attitude.

Negativity just simply isn’t part of how I live now. I’ve recently been given some awesome opportunities and have decided to maintain my positive attitude on a daily basis. This new me has also really helped with my anxiety. I haven’t had any anxiety attacks for a while now and I’ve felt very at ease, which is something I need. Maintaining calmness is key with me. I just started yoga too which absolutely amazing. It’s crazy how sore it made me though.

The decision to be sober was sparked from meeting someone who has kept their straight edge lifestyle throughout their whole life. They are the same age as me and it really seems like he has his shit together which is something I admire. Talking to him made me want to do the same so I made the decision and I’m sticking with it. I didn’t drink at all last weekend and it felt really good. I feel clean and I have tons of energy all the time now because I don’t have any toxins in me.

I think this new life style is what’s best for me. I’m able to get everything on my To Do lists done and be happy while doing it. It’s probably the best decision I’ve made in a long time.

Closing Doors

 

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Relationships all have a start and an end…the key to surviving them is to know how to move on. I was in a relationship for 8 months and when I wasn’t happy anymore, I ended things. In the beginning I didn’t think moving on would be possible…#foreveralone. I soon realized that my happiness comes from myself, not having some boy in my life.

Getting over someone is very abstract. Everyone has their own ways to do it. I tried the whole rebound scene…wasn’t for me and then I tried the “just do you” tactic. That one worked magic. When I took a step back and focused on myself everything just started going my way. I focused on school, my health and my friends. Giving those aspects of life my all, but I still secretly wanted a companion…it wasn’t the thing driving me though.

I finally just decided after a few not so spectacular dates that I wasn’t going to look anymore. If I was destined to meet someone it would happen. To my surprise I met an amazing guy at the photo shoot I did in LA this past weekend and it’s made me feel a way I haven’t in an extremely long time..that’s how I know it’s real.

I moved on from my ex, but it was made clear that he hadn’t done the same today. He asked to have lunch so I agreed because I thought we were going to work it out and be friends. After we ate, he told me we couldn’t have any contact because it was too hard too see me happy or with someone else because he wasn’t. He explained that he still wasn’t over me and I didn’t know what to say because all my feelings towards him were gone. I agreed to his requests and it was the best choice I could have made. It feels like the door to that area of my past has been closed for good. Its quite refreshing in fact.

Now that my past has been settled, I am ready to move forward completely. I knew I was okay before and ready to live my life but knowing that I won’t have to deal with that experience ever again puts me at ease. Everything has been settled and it’s time for me to open a new chapter in my life.

Omission

Lies are lies, plain and simple. A common misconception is that lying by omission doesn’t count… that’s just incorrect. Clearly if it’s something you aren’t willing to say out loud and just because you don’t say it doesn’t make it okay. I’m not going to say I’ve never lied before because that would be a gigantic lie in and of itself but I’ve learned my lesson…when you lie, it ALWAYS comes and bites you in the ass later. So I try to avoid lying at all costs, it’s proven to be a good choice because I haven’t been in trouble lately and my relationships with the people that matter are stronger than ever.

I think in my life there have been a few lies that have stuck out more than others. When I think lying by omission, my mind goes straight to the moment my brother spoke the words, “Oh yeah dad is engaged.”

Apparently, without letting anyone know, my dad proposed to his girlfriend of 6 months. Let me just mention that he and my mother were together for 13 years and he never popped the question. That thought disgusts me, but more than that, the idea that he wouldn’t even have the courage to tell me to my face that he did it. I just don’t understand, how can someone do that to another person? Your going to try to get me to like your girlfriend but you won’t even tell me that your planning to wife her up, it’s just uncanny.

What frustrated me was the fact that I found out a couple weeks prior to my 17th birthday. I hadn’t talked to my dad in weeks but he asked to take me to dinner for my birthday, I said yes but only if my brother and a couple friends could come. He agreed. He took us all out to my favorite sushi restaurant and the entire time I knew that he was engaged, yet through that entire night he neglected to mention it. That is something I will never comprehend. It was also the moment I knew he had lost the little amount of respect I had left for him after cheating on my mom.

It’s funny, everyone I’ve talked to now that my parent’s are split up tell me the same thing. They all thought my dad was a lair and untrustworthy…even a little slimy, but no one was willing to speak up. When in fact, their words may have saved my family so much trouble. Through this, through all the pain, I took an important lesson away. That being, no matter how hard it may be to tell someone the truth, it’s better to do so than speak lies and in turn destroy what could have never been broken.