Birthday Suit

carpelux-home

We come into this world butt naked. Carefree and with no shame we let doctors and family members move us from place to place throughout the birthing room but the moment the your about to be move into a “public” place, your clothed. Babies don’t know the difference between being clothed and naked. Adults don’t seem to care about babies being nude but seeing a teenager or old man nude isn’t okay to some. It just doesn’t make sense, we all are born naked, why does it become a taboo as we age?

It seems as if throughout our lives we are slowly brainwashed into thinking being naked is something shameful or embarrassing. I have witnessed parents scolding their toddlers for running out of their rooms with nothing on. Why? It’s just a body, we all have them. The only difference between a toddler body and an adult body is the amount of hormones. Yes, human beings hit puberty. We grow hair in places we didn’t before, the hair is darker and thicker, people get acne, skin darkens, body shapes change, people get boobs, your balls drop…it’s all a natural part of life that EVERYONE goes through.

This day an age, I feel, has falsely filled peoples minds with the idea that nudity it unacceptable and something to be ashamed of. I believe this because the media doesn’t show all types of bodies and industries, the porn industry in particular, don’t show the wide variety of anatomical aesthetics. I took a class on the psychology of human sexuality and this was one of the topics we covered. I know that men also have these feelings but I am focusing on women specifically.

As a teenage girl, I feel we get the brunt of these issues. We grow up looking at pictures of skinny girls with perfect facial features and beautiful curvature. That becomes the social norm and we grow up believing that is how our bodies are supposed to look. Then as you age a little more and start exploring your sexuality, most people experiment with porn. It’s a shame girls won’t admit to watching it because almost everyone has, but girls have been shamed into thinking that watching porn is dirty and inappropriate for them to do. The thing about being a girl and watching porn, is that it is dangerous. It can cause a lot of issues regarding your body image and self esteem. Porn companies show one vagina. Think about it, almost everyone porn video you’ve watched in your lifetime probably has a girl with the classic porn vagina, no labia, small, hairless and tight. That isn’t how real life is. It personally look me a long time to be comfortable naked because of magazines showing the “perfect” female body and the way porn industries portrayed female anatomy.

I am still young and I’m grateful I learned this lesson this quick, but I’m sure there are other girls out there wondering the same things I did. Is my body normal? Is something wrong with me? What’s wrong with my vagina? I’m actually 100 percent sure there are others out there thinking this because I’ve googled these questions enough times to know others are seeking the answer too. If there is one thing I could tell all girls out there, who look in the mirror questioning their normality, it’s that there is no such thing as normal. Every body is different, we all have unique chemical makeups that made us who we are today. Normal doesn’t exist, so don’t question whether or not your body is okay because it is. There is nothing wrong with anyones body, they are all just different and different is okay.

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Sexuality

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Sexuality is something that overall as a person, I’m extremely comfortable talking about. Nothing anyone could say would make me uncomfortable or feel different about them, I don’t care who your attracted too. I don’t think sexuality can be clearly defined. It’s a blurry line that can change over and over, nothing is set in stone.

For myself, I have identified as straight for my entire life…until now. I’m coming out as bisexual. I know that is a risky move to do on the internet, I mean the only people I’ve flat out told about it are my friends. None of them have any issues with it, in fact, they all thought that was the case already. Mostly due to the fact that when I drink, I tend to hit on my best friend and we make out a lot so it’s been made clear that being intimate with the same sex doesn’t bother me.

Bisexuality in particular is something, that I don’t really see the need to “come out” for. I mean everyone looks at the same sex and admires them in one way or another, so why define something like that? Maybe for some, the feelings are a little bit stronger, it’s more of a lustful feeling vs an admiration.

The question of whether or not I am actually bisexual or not as been something I’ve been asking myself for a while. I don’t really understand the concept of defining ones sexuality, I’ve just always thought whoever you feel attracted too, then go for it. I’m wondering if the reason I couldn’t say yes or no to being bisexual before was because I was scared or something, which doesn’t make sense because my friends are super open and so is my family. I think it was just coming I had to become comfortable with in my mind because it’s never been an issue with anyone else, so it was kind of strange having it be about myself; if that makes any sense.

It’s a cool feeling. I came out to all my friends today officially and I just feel invigorated. I feel stronger as a person being able to fully accept everything about myself and really be true to myself. It’s a really cool feeling.

“Okay”

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A lot of people have very different ideas of what’s “okay.” These ideas greatly depend on how you grow up but I’d say one of the biggest areas where’s issues on what is okay and whats not are in regards to sexuality. I don’t get why, we’re all sexual beings, each of us was created from sex so what’s the big deal?

For instance, I have this one friend whose parents are extremely stringent. It’s as if they forgot they had to have sex to make her. She and I went on this trip to Mexico with our school to build houses. Of course we thought, hey maybe it’d be fun to have sex in a foreign country, so we bought some condoms are a gas station just in case the opportunity arose. We didn’t end up using them with anyone so she took them home. She emptied the actual condoms into a secret box and hid the condom box inside some trash and put it at the bottom of her trash can. Then when her mom took the trash out, she dug through it, found the box and confronted my friend. Honestly when she told me that, I was just in awe. I didn’t know people’s were that damn nosey.

It’s weird for me personally to be in homes or places where sexuality isn’t openly accepted. I grew up in a household were it was always an available topic of discussion. So when I’m at my friends houses where I can’t openly say “fuck” or talk about sex it’s almost shocking because I’m so accustomed to being really open. It makes me wonder how I will be as a parent and if I’ll be as open with my kids as my mom was with me. I can only hope so because during the time when my parents weren’t as open, I went a tad downhill and I wouldn’t wish that upon my kids when I have them.