The Ghost of College Past

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From the time we start school till the time we finish high school, the idea of going to college is engrained in our brains. We’re told, if you want to make something of yourself and your life you must attend college. Sadly, that’s almost always the truth.

Now a days it’s nearly impossible to get a job without a college degree. Without the ability to get a job how are we supposed to pay our insane tuition? The two go hand in hand.

As a high school junior, this is the year where the preparation for college truly begins. Taking the SAT and ACT, making sure your grades are at their peak, getting all that community service and choosing what you want to do with your life. It’s a little unfair that we can’t even legally make decisions for ourselves yet we’re supposed to pick what we want to do with the rest of our lives at 17.

College has always been a priority, but now that my departure to a 4 year university is creeping up, the whole process is becoming pretty scary and overwhelming. First off, I don’t even know what I want to do for sure yet. Secondly, looking at colleges those numbers are pretty terrifying. My mom is a single mother and my dad isn’t a part of my life, so the idea of paying for college is one of the daunting thoughts in my mind. I constantly wonder how I’m going to afford it and although I try my best not to narrow my school selection down based on pricing…I can’t help it. I know, no matter what I’m leaving college with mounds of debt…but why?

College is expected of today’s youth yet it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars and most can’t afford it. That just seems a little messed up. Maybe if college was more affordable, we would have more people graduating and attending. Yes, there are scholarships but that doesn’t cover all of it, unless you get a full ride, which is extremely difficult.

Lucky for me, I’m currently getting a year and a half of free college education due to the program I’m in. I do Middle College, which is basically me finishing high school while earning college credits as a full time SBCC student. It’s an amazing program and looking at tuition prices, I’m so grateful to be getting free college education right now. What’s neat about this program is, if I work my ass off for the next year I can graduate with most of my general ed’s for college so I can apply as a transfer student and hopefully only do 2 years at a 4 year university.

College man, it’s a pretty scary thing. There’s so much pressure on you your last 2 years of high school…it’s nuts.

A Special Day

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What is it about a good day that can give you such a positive outlook on life? Maybe it’s the endorphin rush you’ve been getting for the last 12 hours but whatever it is, it’s fucking fantastic.

It isn’t always easy looking on the bright side of things, in actuality it’s really difficult and if you can under any circumstance I applaud you immensely. Today was a perfect day, relaxing afternoon on the beach picnicking with my date, watching movies together afterwards and then dinner. It couldn’t have gone better and it really is a positive thing. Not just because my date went well, but because little things like that help keep my new found happiness alive.

Since leaving high school, I have never been happier. Sometimes things still manage to get me down, like doing bad on a test or being held late at work, but all in all my life is pretty great right now. It’s hard to see my best friend still suffering in high school though, I wish there was a way for her to get out but her parents are so fucking stubborn.

I think the amounts of happiness taken from situations are dependent on the individual…except high school. That place is 4 years of living hell. Drama, petty bullshit and social lives based off of the stupidest things. There’s no way to avoid it because that is all high school is. Middle college is honestly the best alternative, it’s given me a new outlook on life and it’s created a pathway to success I could have never imagined prior.

Definition Douche Bag

There are some people in life your forced to be around, due to mutual friends, school or work. Most the time we are able to become friends with them due to the circumstances but sometimes the friendship is only one sided.

I have my core group of friends and the circle is slightly bigger than it normally would due to the fact that one of my best friends has a lot of other friends who I hang out with because I hang out with him. I really don’t mind, most of his friends are nice and have become my friends as well, but there a couple who clearly embrace their natural douche bagness.

Through hanging with my best friend I became close with one of his best friends, who then become a good friend of mine…so I thought. I don’t think he does it intentionally, I think it’s just part of his personality to be a dick, but he tends to say things that are completely disrespectful. For example, one evening he and I were chatting while our mutual friend was in the other room and I told him I had a date that weekend and was pretty excited. He responded by asking if I was going to sleep with him after the dinner, I didn’t think much of it but I just responded no because I wasn’t going to occur. I thought he was just giving me shit about my ex boyfriend but then he proceeds to say, “Oh so your being less of a whore now that your in college.” I don’t think anyones ever been so directly rude to me. I brushed it off because it wasn’t worth the fight, but it just made the fact that he is naturally a douche bag soak in.

Though my experience with Middle College I’ve begun to realize that college is an entirely different world. No one cares what you do and they don’t blow things out of proportion. I’ve also come to realize that you really don’t have to put up with people you don’t like and simply put, I’m not going too. People who just vibe like a douche just won’t be a part of my life anymore. I don’t care if there are mutual friends involved, they don’t have to be my friend simply because they’re one of my best friends friends. Middle College has somehow boosted my level of confidence and ability to stand up for myself. I don’t put up with peoples bullshit anymore and don’t let people push me around and it’s given me the best feeling ever. No one needs people in their lives who don’t want to be there and it’s become pretty easy to identify those who don’t want in.