Downfalls of Dating

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Dating now a days no longer involves the courting process. The days of standing outside the house of your crush with  boom box on your shoulder, singing have come and gone. I mean why put in the that sort of effort when you can get their number, shoot them a text and be hooking up in a matter of hours.

The thing about texting in relationships that people don’t understand (I admit, I am at fault here too) is that it’s basically one big mind fuck. When you receive a text, it doesn’t matter who it’s from, you read into it with whatever mood your in at the time. Quite possibly causing their message to come across the wrong way. That’s one of the biggest issues with texting overall, especially when your flirting with the newest love interest via text.

Texting has also made us as a generation extremely dependent in our relationships. The ability to text our boyfriend or girlfriend 24/7 has made it almost impossible to miss them. If you suddenly realize, hey I miss this person, you can shoot them a text or hop on FaceTime, we no longer need face to face interactions to feel full filled and honestly that’s pretty sad.

Another issue with dating in this day and age is the fact that people aren’t willing to be put themselves out there. Mind games aren’t fun, no one likes them so why play them with each other. Be upfront and honest, that way everything goes smoothly.

Plus what is dating really? I mean I get that it’s a time to get to know one another but I’m dating this guy right now and we’ve made it clear that it’s okay to see other people but why would I want too? Free meals are nice but if I’m putting time and effort into this person why would I want to do that with multiple people…it just seems like a hassle.

The world be such a better place in regards to dating if we all were upfront with each other, there was actual face to face encounters(no more of this BS texting/online relationships) and people figured out how to handle their emotional business. Talk about the issues, if your tired of the relationship then leave, if you want to make it work then do so and if you want to fall in love then give it a shot. Don’t wait for someone to come crawling to you. Get out there, make your move and create your own happiness.

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Birthday Suit

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We come into this world butt naked. Carefree and with no shame we let doctors and family members move us from place to place throughout the birthing room but the moment the your about to be move into a “public” place, your clothed. Babies don’t know the difference between being clothed and naked. Adults don’t seem to care about babies being nude but seeing a teenager or old man nude isn’t okay to some. It just doesn’t make sense, we all are born naked, why does it become a taboo as we age?

It seems as if throughout our lives we are slowly brainwashed into thinking being naked is something shameful or embarrassing. I have witnessed parents scolding their toddlers for running out of their rooms with nothing on. Why? It’s just a body, we all have them. The only difference between a toddler body and an adult body is the amount of hormones. Yes, human beings hit puberty. We grow hair in places we didn’t before, the hair is darker and thicker, people get acne, skin darkens, body shapes change, people get boobs, your balls drop…it’s all a natural part of life that EVERYONE goes through.

This day an age, I feel, has falsely filled peoples minds with the idea that nudity it unacceptable and something to be ashamed of. I believe this because the media doesn’t show all types of bodies and industries, the porn industry in particular, don’t show the wide variety of anatomical aesthetics. I took a class on the psychology of human sexuality and this was one of the topics we covered. I know that men also have these feelings but I am focusing on women specifically.

As a teenage girl, I feel we get the brunt of these issues. We grow up looking at pictures of skinny girls with perfect facial features and beautiful curvature. That becomes the social norm and we grow up believing that is how our bodies are supposed to look. Then as you age a little more and start exploring your sexuality, most people experiment with porn. It’s a shame girls won’t admit to watching it because almost everyone has, but girls have been shamed into thinking that watching porn is dirty and inappropriate for them to do. The thing about being a girl and watching porn, is that it is dangerous. It can cause a lot of issues regarding your body image and self esteem. Porn companies show one vagina. Think about it, almost everyone porn video you’ve watched in your lifetime probably has a girl with the classic porn vagina, no labia, small, hairless and tight. That isn’t how real life is. It personally look me a long time to be comfortable naked because of magazines showing the “perfect” female body and the way porn industries portrayed female anatomy.

I am still young and I’m grateful I learned this lesson this quick, but I’m sure there are other girls out there wondering the same things I did. Is my body normal? Is something wrong with me? What’s wrong with my vagina? I’m actually 100 percent sure there are others out there thinking this because I’ve googled these questions enough times to know others are seeking the answer too. If there is one thing I could tell all girls out there, who look in the mirror questioning their normality, it’s that there is no such thing as normal. Every body is different, we all have unique chemical makeups that made us who we are today. Normal doesn’t exist, so don’t question whether or not your body is okay because it is. There is nothing wrong with anyones body, they are all just different and different is okay.

Coping Through Beauty

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The easiest way to feel rejuvenated and fresh is to do something to the one part of your body that will always come back. That being, your hair. It’s the fastest way to cope with a situation. When everything feels like it’s falling apart, you can run to the store, grab a bottle of hair dye and completely change yourself within minutes.

My mother always told me that she knew when things went wrong between boy’s and I because I always asked to dye or cut my hair right after. It’s the concept of seeking change. The idea that altering your physical appearance will change the person underneath and in turn change your world around you.

It doesn’t just have to be fights with boys that make you crave change. I got into a fight with my best friend and hours later I was in the bathroom gloved up and holding a tube of pink hair dye. Accompanied by a pink streak, I set foot into the world with a fresh outlook. No longer letting the petty drama affect me. It’s funny how something so minor can spark such a fiery feeling in oneself.

Whenever someone questions me about my hair, makeup or possible tattoos/piercings I don’t feel it necessary to answer. Why should my physical appearance be any of your business?  My motives for creating how I look on the outside shouldn’t matter and it shouldn’t be a controversy. So next time your world feels like it’s falling apart, turn to something less harmful like dying your hair or chopping it all off because in the end, the chaos will pass and your hair will grow back.

Body Mod

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Body modification is one of those things that has lots of controversy surrounding it. Some people think tattoos and piercings are gross and inappropriate where as others are all for them. Then there are those who think some are okay and some aren’t.

Ears are on of the most common and socially acceptable piercings. People give their babies ear piercings for pete’s sake! Pretty much everyone I know has their ears pierced or has had them done in the past. It’s considered normal. But what’s the difference between an earring and a belly or nose ring? It’s the same concept just in a different place.

I’ve had my nose, belly button, ears and most recently my cartilage pierced. I also have a tattoo. Word of advice…if you ask about how bad a cartilage piercing hurts and someone tells you it doesn’t, they are lying. It was the most painful one I’ve ever had done, hurt worse than my belly button.

So when it comes to body piercings I don’t see anything wrong with them and there’s a lot of people out there who would agree with me. Then there are those who completely disagree with me. For example, my work is totally against body modifying. I almost got fired for having my cartilage pierced. What kind of bullshit is that?? Now, granted piercings and skin color are two totally different things, but I believe it’s a form of discrimination. If your going to not allow or possibly fire me based on my physical appearance in regards to the jewelry I choose to wear, that’s just unfair.

People will disagree with my opinions on body modification but that doesn’t phase me. The whole point of modifying your body is to make yourself happy. It’s all about your personal opinion, no one else’s.