Marriage is a beautiful thing, its the uniting of two individuals to create one. I don’t think marriage should be rushed or done through betrayal. Which is precisely why I will not be attending my step-father’s wedding in Mexico this summer.
My biological pops isn’t in the picture, he dipped out when I was born and I’ve only met him once, ironically, I never want to meet him again. So when I was three my mom introduced me to the guy she’d been dating, Todd. They continued dating for the next 12 years and I consider him my father, but due to recent circumstances the common term I used for him, “dad”, is now consciously being changed to “step-dad.” Simply due to the fact that I think he is an asshole. (Sorry to be so blunt)
You see, he and my mom never got married…aka he never proposed and then after a solid 12 years of togetherness he goes and cheats on her. I have a little brother so because of us my parents worked things out and stayed together, but history repeats itself and he cheated again…and again. Finally my parents split up.
Then came the hard part, my younger brother was destroyed by it and that was the hardest thing for me to witness, and the fact that my mother was so hurt by it all. My step-dad acted as if none of it mattered and it wasn’t his fault, that’s why I think he is an ass. Custody became and issue and because I’m old enough legally to make those decisions, I live with my mom full time where sadly, my little brother has to go back and forth each week.
Once again my step-dad broke trust when he introduced his new girlfriend to my brother and I before the agreed 6 months of dating my parents had discussed. Another reason to think he’s a jerk. I choose to distance myself from him and his new family. His girlfriend…well now fiance, has a daughter who just so happens to be very close in age to the time my step-dad took me on, ironic huh?
The thing about my step-dad is, he wants but he won’t give. I don’t play that way. If you want something from me, you must give effort back and I will reciprocate especially when it comes to having a relationship. I won’t do a one sided relationship, either both parties put effort in or I’m out. I initially tried and didn’t get anything in return so I gave up. Having a relationship with him is no longer important to me, but now he’s putting in half assed effort and expects me to be all for it and attend his wedding with some woman he’s known for less than a year…no thank you.
Juggling Joost 