Downfalls of Dating

2 Laptops with male and female avatars and hearts floating between them

Dating now a days no longer involves the courting process. The days of standing outside the house of your crush with  boom box on your shoulder, singing have come and gone. I mean why put in the that sort of effort when you can get their number, shoot them a text and be hooking up in a matter of hours.

The thing about texting in relationships that people don’t understand (I admit, I am at fault here too) is that it’s basically one big mind fuck. When you receive a text, it doesn’t matter who it’s from, you read into it with whatever mood your in at the time. Quite possibly causing their message to come across the wrong way. That’s one of the biggest issues with texting overall, especially when your flirting with the newest love interest via text.

Texting has also made us as a generation extremely dependent in our relationships. The ability to text our boyfriend or girlfriend 24/7 has made it almost impossible to miss them. If you suddenly realize, hey I miss this person, you can shoot them a text or hop on FaceTime, we no longer need face to face interactions to feel full filled and honestly that’s pretty sad.

Another issue with dating in this day and age is the fact that people aren’t willing to be put themselves out there. Mind games aren’t fun, no one likes them so why play them with each other. Be upfront and honest, that way everything goes smoothly.

Plus what is dating really? I mean I get that it’s a time to get to know one another but I’m dating this guy right now and we’ve made it clear that it’s okay to see other people but why would I want too? Free meals are nice but if I’m putting time and effort into this person why would I want to do that with multiple people…it just seems like a hassle.

The world be such a better place in regards to dating if we all were upfront with each other, there was actual face to face encounters(no more of this BS texting/online relationships) and people figured out how to handle their emotional business. Talk about the issues, if your tired of the relationship then leave, if you want to make it work then do so and if you want to fall in love then give it a shot. Don’t wait for someone to come crawling to you. Get out there, make your move and create your own happiness.

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Drunk in Distance

long-distance-relationship1

 

Long distance man…it’s one of those things where all the normal dating rules are suddenly thrown into a blender and it’s up to you to add new ingredients to keep it tasty.

I’ve never been able to wrap my brain around the concept of long distance relationships. How are you able to stay so in love when you can’t even hug each other on a daily basis? I guess that’s true love if there is such a thing. Many believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder, maybe it’s true in love.

The first time I ever tried anything remotely close to long distance was my freshman year of high school. Lets be blunt, it was NOT long distance, my boyfriend just sucked. He graduated high school and was starting college at SBCC (keep in mind, it’s literally 10 minutes away from the local high school) and he dumped me because “we were never going to see each other now that he’s a college kid.” Of course I was heartbroken but hey, looking back on it now I realize he was a freshman in college and I was a sophomore in high school…big difference and it just made the most sense for us to breakup.

History repeats itself. Once again I began dating a senior. He graduated, we dated all summer blah blah blah, you know the deal and then August rolled around. He was getting ready to move out to the dorms at Cal Poly. I was totally supportive and firmly believed we could do “long distance” (it’s 2 hours away from where I live so it’s not really long distance either). About a month in I was so done. He was lying to me and things just weren’t working out. We hardly visited each other and it wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted to continue. I ended things and that’s when shit hit the fan, but I’ll save that for another post. It deserves it’s own.

So what makes long distance worth while? I guess that’s up to the individual to decide. If you really do love someone, I think it could work as long as there is extremely open communication and honesty between the two. It’s not something that’s right for everyone though. If your the type, like me, who needs affection in more physical ways like hugging and kissing, it could be quite difficult to maintain something long distance.

It’s funny though, sometimes someone comes around who can change your entire opinion on things such as long distance. I met Alex (the kid I’ve been writing about in my more recent posts) who lives in Ohio and I fell for him in about 2 days. Suddenly I’m all for a long distance relationship. Why? I ask myself that daily. I think it’s simply because something felt right. It’s a gamble but maybe that’s just how it feels to be drunk in love.