We all deal with those passive aggressive folks who are a part of our daily life. I think it’s one of the things that makes human beings so strong; I mean dealing with those kinds of idiots all day makes for a thick skin. Being passive aggressive is probably one of the most irritating qualities a person can have. Seriously, if your going to be aggressive just be straight forward so the rest of us don’t have to deal with the underlying bullshit that is an automatic response to passive aggressive remarks.
I would say I’m lucky in a sense because I don’t have to deal with too many passive aggressive people. My dad is definitely like this but since I made the choice not to have him in my life that’s not an issue. On the other hand, my best friend is totally like this. I don’t know what she has to be mad at me about since I’ve never done anything to her but she always manages to throw out snide remarks about my past (family life, past boys, mistakes I’ve made etc.). It’s really fucking annoying because I don’t see why someone who wears the title of Best Friend would do that and it’s clear she doesn’t recognize it because I’ve confronted her about it and she “has no idea what I’m talking about.”
The issue is shedding light on the important issue of friendships and what makes them last. Ours has had a very rocky past but we got through it and are now very close I think, but now that she’s all wrapped up with her boyfriend, I just feel I’m in the need of another friend. One who can actually do things with me that doesn’t constantly need her boyfriend there by her side. Don’t get me wrong, I totally support couples and sticking with your partner, but using them as a crutch is different.
The dreaded “my boyfriend or girlfriend is coming.” It’s one of those sayings that once you hear it, there is no coming back. I don’t know about you, but the trouble with 3rd wheeling is that you can be completely happy for the couple but you also want to cut their lips off. Ya ya ya, I get it, you guys kiss. Good for you but save the spit swapping for the bedroom because I don’t want to watch it.
I’m in a bit of a sticky situation. My two best friends are dating (weird I know). So automatically I’m always hanging out with them but the difference is now, that they are official which means “acting coupley.” The thing is, they don’t think they’re coupley in the slightest and if you tell them they are, it’s an automatic passive aggressive response or denial. There’s nothing wrong with being coupley, but do it when you don’t have one other friend their because it makes that friend (me or whoever else) feel awkward as fuck.
I wouldn’t mind it so much if it wasn’t part of this creepy cycle. Let’s give my friends some fake names to protect their identities, the girl is going to be Kat and the boy will be Zach. Here’s an average day with these two. First we’re all hanging out like normal, then Kat makes a point to say that she’s Zach’s girlfriend and how she doesn’t like the sound of it. Then she starts acting like a bitch towards Zach, then Zach gets pissy and either pouts or tries to leave. This causes Kat to get clingy, which secretly all their other friends think is part of Zach’s plan because he wants her to be all over him. Zach ignores her clinginess for a bit, then gives in acting all lovey back. Finally, they kiss and makeup…either making things weird for those around them or they leave to go do “other things.” If they don’t kiss and makeup, it ends in Kat being really mad and then leaving.
It’s a repetitive, dysfunctional cycle that personally I don’t understand. It’s not something any of our friends are willing to come forward and tell them because they’re the type of people to dismiss you if you dare criticize them on a very personal level, plus they aren’t big on talking about issues either. It’s a tough situation to be in because it’s a constant struggle to maintain these friendships. There are boundaries and lines you can’t cross, yet sometimes it seems impossible not to cross them. In other words, the struggle is real.